Alex Rodriguez Is Retiring…Soon…ish

Alex Rodriguez, who has been a lightning rod for warranted criticism throughout his career because of his slap-happy play on the field, his mirror, mirror on the wall antics and his PEDs vacation, announced yesterday that he will retire (in perhaps the most perfect metaphor for his career) after two more years.

Baseball fans everywhere would like to thank him for giving us the chance to emotionally prepare for the game sans A-Rod. If only David Ortiz and Derek Jeter had allowed us the same pre-grieving period.

Mr. Rodriguez is perhaps best known for helping Jason Varitek break in a new catcher’s mitt in 2004. The announcement was largely ignored by the baseball press.


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About Rick Rowand 116 Articles
Like all little boys who grew up in Little Rock, Rick became a fan of the Red Sox and continues to be one to this day. He is the proud parent of two adult children and currently lives in Metro Atlanta and is not a member of any known cult. Rick likes to cook for friends and enemies, and his favorite band remains The Clash! Member of the IBWAA because, well, we all need to belong somewhere.

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